Permission to say NO

Published by Karie Millspaugh on April 28, 2018April 28, 2018

Permission to say NO

Permission to BE Me Chronicles

You know that feeling, the one that creates a pit in your stomach after someone asks a favor of you or invites you to something you didn’t have on your radar.

The guilt kicks in, your mind starts racing for a solid excuse to say no.

Last time I checked, “No” was a complete sentence.

So why do we put so much pressure on ourselves?

I will give you a simple guideline that I use at the end of this blog so that you can always keep a healthy boundary when it comes to meeting new people.

Now, side note, I am an empath as well and my energy is easily disrupted if I go into overload trying to save the world.

Us empaths have an energy that others become addicted to, and they are drawn to us like a moth to a flame. We also tend to care way too much about everyone else’s feelings which leaves us depleted and empty.

Even more reason to be extra careful with who gets that special energy and God given gifts.

So… I live in Las Vegas which can be a blessing and a curse.

Blessing, because so many friends and family come to me and visit. Which gives me an excuse to play tourist for the day without hopping on a plane or driving across the country to see many special people in my life.

Curse, because EVERYONE comes to Vegas at least once and they seem to think my life is lived on the strip. Newsflash my friendly tourists, locals choose to avoid the strip, if possible. In fact, I chose to live as far away from the chaos as I could.

On average I receive about 5-10 emails a week from a follower of my work that wants to connect while they’re in town.

If they are a client, that’s an easy yes. If they are family, I may even invite them to stay with me. Otherwise it’s a hard NO.

In business you must choose your company. Most people love your energy and your posts online and want to get some of that energy in person and there is nothing wrong with that. They also feel like they already know you. If I were visiting New York I would love to go to coffee with Gabby Bernstein but I know that would be inappropriate to ask. The larger your following becomes the more boundaries you must set in place.

Think of your favorite actress or artist. What type of response would you get if you private messaged them on social media that you wanted to grab a drink with them?

I’m not stating that I’m Carrie Underwood, but my business must be treated as such. I’m not available to schedule meetings with stranger’s multiple times a week.

So back to that pit in your stomach that shows up when excited people that have been following your work want a private meeting with you.

It’s ok to say no, to state that I’m working or I’m with my family.

I’m ALL for meeting new people but it must check certain boxes.

So, these are the boxes that I need to check to feel GOOD about meeting someone or attending an event that I was invited to.

When I get an invite, I run this through my head:

Is this a business opportunity?
Will this leave me feeling more fulfilled?
Will this make me money?
Is this aligned to the current work projects that I have going?
Do I see myself potentially creating a relationship/friendship with this person?

If any of those boxes are checked, then its an easy yes if I can squeeze it into my schedule.

If none of those boxes are checked, then you have to say no because now you’re just saying yes out of guilt.

That heavy guilt energy will come back to bite you later as your own energy feels empty and you have nothing to show for it.

Our Public Figure status is to help others, if you’re not strong with keeping your own cup full, you will feel empty and no one will win. Not you or your tribe of followers.

Give yourself Permission to say NO.